Who Have You Handed the Keys To?

Every day, whether we realize it or not, we are building something.

We are building our relationships, identity, marriage, parenting, Kingdom assignment, emotional health, business, and future.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

That phrase, “with her own hands,” is worth paying attention to.

Sometimes nobody else is tearing down what we are trying to build. Sometimes it happens through the stories we create about what is happening around us.

A relationship changes. Someone becomes distant. An opportunity does not work out. A comment stings. Those are the facts.

Then we decide what those facts mean and tell ourselves stories...

“They rejected me.”

“I’m not enough.”

“Something must be wrong with me.”

Before long, we are no longer responding to what actually happened. We are responding to the story we made up about what happened.

That story can begin shaping our behavior. We overthink, complain, withdraw, get distracted, or make ourselves smaller because of what someone else might think.

The other people in these situations may not even know how much influence they have been given in our thoughts…

Sometimes it’s the story we created about them that gives them permission to control how we behave or respond…in other words, we handed over the keys.

So what now? How do we get things back in the right order?

There’s a simple 4 step process you can walk through to reclaim your authority and take the keys back.

Start by asking these simple questions:

• What actually happened? Strip the situation down to just the facts.
• What did I decide it meant? This is where the story usually shows up.
• What has that story been producing in my life? Look at the fruit. Has it produced peace, wisdom, freedom, and healthy action? Or has it produced insecurity, distraction, irritation, comparison, and fear?

Then ask: What does God say?

Because what God says is THE truth…the facts about the relationship or the circumstance may be there, but the stories we create around them feed us lies that keep us stuck.

Sometimes distance is not rejection. Sometimes people simply grow in different directions. Sometimes the relationship no longer fits where each person is going.

Proverbs 14:8 says, “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways.”

Our responsibility is not to figure out everybody else’s motives.

It is to look within, at ourselves, at our own ways of handling and processing things—what we are believing, what we are allowing, and what are our own hands are building.

Because the stories we believe become the lives we build.

If you want more insightful conversations like this that help you grow in Kingdom wisdom and practically apply truth to everyday life, come join us inside Kingdom Seekers.